pieces of me.

hey there.. huhu. nak buat ape ni?... hmm.. lets 'curhat'ing, okeh. 

oh, hihi.. btw, curhat means = luahkan rasa/perasaan in indonesian language. apekaaa?? layan jela ye. ^^

ok, actually, i have no idea of writing any entry for now.. it's just that i'm kinda need a medium to express my feelings, my thoughts, my thinking.. i used to have a diary -- long-long time ago.. hohoho.. 

but then, i've lost it.. and seems like i've lost my way of expressing my feelings too.. i've lost my way of writing.. and i'm kinda lose my confidence- to write stories of me, peoples around me, etc.. and hurm, i used to have a blog too.. hihi =P

well, it was about 3years ago.. i deleted it.. it carves too many scars on me.. it leaves too many sad feelings in me.. well, i deleted it because i don't want to hurt me and peoples around me.. i don't have the guts to express more of my thoughts, bad thoughts of those who hates me.. tak sampai hati.. even if they wouldn't know about it, i still don't have enough courage to celaka kan those peeps publically..i just - tak sampai hati.

i'm genetically a hot-tempered-emo girl.. hihi.. when i talk, i'll talk frankly.. and peeps usually misunderstood my frankly thoughts and words as complaints - i think.. haha.. yeah, i know. i should not always be frank in my words. i seriously have to stop my habits. but how? it is in my blood.. i can't help it. i just can hold it-which rarely happens. huhu.. but not too long.. i'm too honest with my words and it always hurt others-especially those whom i love most. family, frens, my liver.. yes, my one-and-only liver.. biyane!*bowing*

most of the time, i'm afraid of myself. i'm afraid of losing them. afraid of misunderstanding that might occurs due to my badmouth.. i'm sorry, really sorry.. i just can't lie to those i love.. it hurts, but it hurts me more when i have to lie to those i love most. sorry.. please, bear with me and my words.. i'm sorry. oh, seriously, i have to change. change for good at least. sigh.

JOM TARIK NAFAS PANJANG-PANJANG!!! pejam mata.................. hold it - as long as you can.

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in the name of Allah- the most powerful and merciful..

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hold it a bit more!!!!!

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HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hope i'll change for good- for a better future. take care peeps!